November 29, 2023

Would it help?


Would it help?
Cancer cell generated by bing AI
a purple and black background with lots of small flowers
Photo by National Cancer Institute / Unsplash

a natural reaction

Tomorrow I go for a PET scan to see what is going on with my cancer with more precision. I suppose things are going alright, but one can never be entirely certain. A friend of mine said something that has stuck with me. He argued that being scared doesn't really help. I would argue that it is a natural reaction to events. I try not to be scared but sometimes it sneaks up on you.

In reality there is very little I can do to change things. I just have to have faith in the doctors and have faith in my practice to turn poison into medicine. In fact poison is being used to cure me.

It seems that I have two forces that are diametrically opposed to each other. One trying to save me, and one trying it's best to kill me. So far my luck has held out. It is so much for me to process sometimes, not only having cancer, but severe consequences of that Cancer. Sometimes at night before you drift into a drug induced sleep, fear grips you, but in reality as my friend says, does it help? However I am not often pragmatic, and dealing with cancer you have to be.